I’m no relationship counsellor but I’ve had my fair share of relationship issues and I understand how money can be a really sensitive topic. In fact, it can be the very thing that makes or breaks a relationship, or, for some people who just can’t get themselves on the same page, it can lead to conflicts and misunderstandings. And for a property developer it can mean you never reach the financial freedom you’re gunning for.
So it’s important for couples and friends investing together to address financial issues and work towards shared goals. In this article, I’m going to run through the top five money derailers in relationships and give you some strategies to overcome them.
1. Not having the same goals and objectives
This would have to be the number one issue I come across and it’s been an issue in my own relationships. A misalignment in financial goals can create some pretty heavy tension in a relationship.
You might be very goal-oriented and focused on wanting to achieve a better future for yourself and your family. You’re ambitious and driven and ready to throw yourself into the work required to achieve your goals. If your partner or friend has no goals and is quite happy where they’re at that can feel like an anchor round your neck, like a giant handbrake, especially if you have to check in and justify everything you’re doing.
Or maybe they want all same things as you but they’re not willing to put the same effort in. (And property developing requires lots of effort!)
This is where you might have to pull on your sales cap and sell the dream, or at the very least sell why the dream is important to you and your happiness.
Open and honest communication is essential here - discuss your individual goals and see if you can find common ground where both partners can contribute and benefit. Make sure you actively listen to your partner and show genuine interest in their goals. If you’re determined to preserve the relationship, you may need to compromise and set realistic expectations to ensure you are working together towards a shared financial future.
See if you can highlight how supporting each other's goals can contribute to a stronger, more fulfilling partnership.
Share your plan for achieving financial freedom through property development and show how you have broken the plan down into smaller, achievable milestones so it doesn’t seem too overwhelming.
2. Not sticking to a budget
Does he have enough Nikes to outfit the entire NBL? Does she upgrade her phone every time a new iPhone model drops? If your partner or friend has a fetish or has a habit of frivolous spending, it can make it impossible to stick to a budget. And if you can’t stick to a budget, sticking to a five-year financial plan becomes equally impossible.
A lack of financial discipline can wreak serious havoc on a couple's finances and any dreams of property investing.
So you need to create a budget that both partners can stick to consistently. Start by understanding your income and your expenses. Then add in your saving goals and discretionary spending – that’s the stuff like new sneakers and smart phones that are nice but not essential. You’ll need to regularly review and track your expenses to make sure you stay on track. By having a well-defined budget, you can work towards long-term financial plans.
3. Not having the same appetite for risk
Differences in risk tolerance can strain a relationship, particularly when it comes to financial decisions. Some of us are more risk-averse, while others are comfortable taking calculated risks. Are you a glass half-empty or glass half-full type of person? It can be tempting to think the glass half-full person is going to get further ahead, but sometimes people are overly optimisitic. Risk can never be eliminated, but it can be identified, managed, and, if done well, navigated.
When you’re a kid you get taught that crossing a road is dangerous: it can kill you. But then you learn to look left, look right and cross safely. The car is no less dangerous, you’ve just learnt how to navigate those dangers. The risk is always there.
For us, it’s all about education to manage the risks and put plans in place.
Warren Buffet says "Risk comes from not knowing what you're doing."
Have some open and respectful conversations about risk management, and weigh up the risk with the potential reward. If you invest in knowledge both partners in a relationship can navigate risks and develop a balanced approach to financial decisions and decisions about developing property.
4. Delayed gratification vs. instant rewards
This is a biggie. Who doesn’t want to go out and celebrate a big win, whether it’s a lucky punt at the races or a sizeable profit from flipping a property? Well, here’s the thing. Some people don’t want to spend a cent come payday. Instead, they’ve got their eyes on the bigger prize, the one that your five-year financial plan will spell out for you.
And this is where you run into trouble. One partner wants instant gratification, while the other is all about delayed gratification – they prefer to prioritise long-term financial goals, and roll any profits into the next deal.
Finding a middle ground is essential. Encourage open dialogue about financial priorities and create a compromise that allows for some discretionary spending while still working towards future objectives. By striking a balance between instant rewards and delayed gratification, you can hang on to financial harmony in your relationship.
5. Lack of financial transparency and trust
You hear some pretty shocking stories about couples who hide financial secrets or massive debts from one another. Imagine finding out your partner is supporting a child you didn’t know existed, or gambling every second pay. Money secrets can severely damage a relationship and make it near impossible to achieve shared financial goals.
There’s no magic formula for ensuring you’re privy to all your partner’s financial affairs, but put it this way, if someone is cagey when asked about their finances, you might want to think twice about investing with them.
If a partner or friend is happy to set aside regular time to discuss finances, review account statements and make joint financial decisions you’re on more solid ground.
Maintaining a joint account for shared expenses is a good way to move forward.
Money can be a source of conflict or a tool to strengthen a relationship. If you’re aware of these top five money derailers—mismatched goals and risk appetites, lack of budgeting, different views on instant rewards and a lack of financial transparency—you can move ahead with your financial plan and your property developing goals with your eyes wide open.
Remember, open communication, compromise, and a shared vision are key to building a solid financial foundation in any relationship.
So it’s important for couples and friends investing together to address financial issues and work towards shared goals. In this article, I’m going to run through the top five money derailers in relationships and give you some strategies to overcome them.
1. Not having the same goals and objectives
This would have to be the number one issue I come across and it’s been an issue in my own relationships. A misalignment in financial goals can create some pretty heavy tension in a relationship.
You might be very goal-oriented and focused on wanting to achieve a better future for yourself and your family. You’re ambitious and driven and ready to throw yourself into the work required to achieve your goals. If your partner or friend has no goals and is quite happy where they’re at that can feel like an anchor round your neck, like a giant handbrake, especially if you have to check in and justify everything you’re doing.
Or maybe they want all same things as you but they’re not willing to put the same effort in. (And property developing requires lots of effort!)
This is where you might have to pull on your sales cap and sell the dream, or at the very least sell why the dream is important to you and your happiness.
Open and honest communication is essential here - discuss your individual goals and see if you can find common ground where both partners can contribute and benefit. Make sure you actively listen to your partner and show genuine interest in their goals. If you’re determined to preserve the relationship, you may need to compromise and set realistic expectations to ensure you are working together towards a shared financial future.
See if you can highlight how supporting each other's goals can contribute to a stronger, more fulfilling partnership.
Share your plan for achieving financial freedom through property development and show how you have broken the plan down into smaller, achievable milestones so it doesn’t seem too overwhelming.
2. Not sticking to a budget
Does he have enough Nikes to outfit the entire NBL? Does she upgrade her phone every time a new iPhone model drops? If your partner or friend has a fetish or has a habit of frivolous spending, it can make it impossible to stick to a budget. And if you can’t stick to a budget, sticking to a five-year financial plan becomes equally impossible.
A lack of financial discipline can wreak serious havoc on a couple's finances and any dreams of property investing.
So you need to create a budget that both partners can stick to consistently. Start by understanding your income and your expenses. Then add in your saving goals and discretionary spending – that’s the stuff like new sneakers and smart phones that are nice but not essential. You’ll need to regularly review and track your expenses to make sure you stay on track. By having a well-defined budget, you can work towards long-term financial plans.
3. Not having the same appetite for risk
Differences in risk tolerance can strain a relationship, particularly when it comes to financial decisions. Some of us are more risk-averse, while others are comfortable taking calculated risks. Are you a glass half-empty or glass half-full type of person? It can be tempting to think the glass half-full person is going to get further ahead, but sometimes people are overly optimisitic. Risk can never be eliminated, but it can be identified, managed, and, if done well, navigated.
When you’re a kid you get taught that crossing a road is dangerous: it can kill you. But then you learn to look left, look right and cross safely. The car is no less dangerous, you’ve just learnt how to navigate those dangers. The risk is always there.
For us, it’s all about education to manage the risks and put plans in place.
Warren Buffet says "Risk comes from not knowing what you're doing."
Have some open and respectful conversations about risk management, and weigh up the risk with the potential reward. If you invest in knowledge both partners in a relationship can navigate risks and develop a balanced approach to financial decisions and decisions about developing property.
4. Delayed gratification vs. instant rewards
This is a biggie. Who doesn’t want to go out and celebrate a big win, whether it’s a lucky punt at the races or a sizeable profit from flipping a property? Well, here’s the thing. Some people don’t want to spend a cent come payday. Instead, they’ve got their eyes on the bigger prize, the one that your five-year financial plan will spell out for you.
And this is where you run into trouble. One partner wants instant gratification, while the other is all about delayed gratification – they prefer to prioritise long-term financial goals, and roll any profits into the next deal.
Finding a middle ground is essential. Encourage open dialogue about financial priorities and create a compromise that allows for some discretionary spending while still working towards future objectives. By striking a balance between instant rewards and delayed gratification, you can hang on to financial harmony in your relationship.
5. Lack of financial transparency and trust
You hear some pretty shocking stories about couples who hide financial secrets or massive debts from one another. Imagine finding out your partner is supporting a child you didn’t know existed, or gambling every second pay. Money secrets can severely damage a relationship and make it near impossible to achieve shared financial goals.
There’s no magic formula for ensuring you’re privy to all your partner’s financial affairs, but put it this way, if someone is cagey when asked about their finances, you might want to think twice about investing with them.If a partner or friend is happy to set aside regular time to discuss finances, review account statements and make joint financial decisions you’re on more solid ground.
Maintaining a joint account for shared expenses is a good way to move forward.
Money can be a source of conflict or a tool to strengthen a relationship. If you’re aware of these top five money derailers—mismatched goals and risk appetites, lack of budgeting, different views on instant rewards and a lack of financial transparency—you can move ahead with your financial plan and your property developing goals with your eyes wide open.
Remember, open communication, compromise, and a shared vision are key to building a solid financial foundation in any relationship.
